Cell Phone-atopia

I hate using the phone ... always have. I am shy about talking to people in general, other than myself - to whom I speak all the time. I dislike receiving calls, and rarely make calls.

So, cell phones, and their infinitely more grotesque mutations, are an interesting class of items to me.

I remember well when the very first cell phone became a reality - something you could really buy and use, in a limited and non-military way - there weren't many cell towers back then. I am talking, like, mid 1980s. These phones were HUGE monsters. Big rubber duckies that you couldn't fit into any opening of your clothes. You carried them around, like some people used to carry SLR cameras slung around their neck with 200 mm telephoto lens attached. When sitting at a bar, where nowadays most seem to have to place their tiny little cute cell phones in front of them in anticipation of a call from the President, this huge cell phone would find its place of honor near to whatever 'taste' the imbiber was having. It would never receive a call, at least not in my presence, nor did I ever see anyone make a call on it, but it was impressive. It was a sign of supreme geekdom and enlightenment. I was a bit envious, I have to admit.

Now, of course, they make big-number cell phones for the older generation and pre-teens. Cell phones are getting bigger again, too. But mostly because of all the swiss-army-knife capabilities attached to them. Explore this link for the ultimate cell phone, the Pomegranate, which has several amazing features, including a built-in coffee maker!

I purchased the cheesiest, cheapest, feature-less cell phone it is possible to buy, and, son-of-a-b*tch, it still came with games and text messaging. It looks like a candy bar, and stll works fine, in terms of receiving unwanted calls.

Now, if I were going to buy a mobil phone of some sort, and be proud of it, it would be a satellite phone - like an Iridium. That is a phone! Independent of the existence of cell towers and reliant only upon the immense string of low-level synchronous satellites in Earth orbit, it works even on a 'desert island', where I imagine a phone might be a handy device to have.

It is still very expensive to buy and use, and includes no games, texting capability, or Internet access. No downloadable ring tones, or videos or songs, or anything except one feature. You can make and receive phone calls on it. Wow. What progress!

Rich